Earlier today on a CTV affiliate (ATV) future Prime Minister Dion made the Liberal blooper reel. Failing to understand the question presented to him resulted in take after take (after take) until one of his aides had to explain the question, which involved past and present tense together – damn this right wing media and their agenda of confusion.

The fists never really started to fly until this week between the two front runners, but Stephen Harper and Stephane Dion are at odds over the financial crisis. The financial fight is on.

Dion scored some major points over the last couple of days, playing on fear and uncertainty of Canadian investors opening bank statements and falling over. The Liberals did an amazing job of turning around the polls in a matter of days, making up a smashing 15 points to the Conservative rivals. They did this by successfully tying the Conservative leadership to the economy, joined with the fact that the Tories do not have a ‘plan’ to address the crisis at hand. The momentum was in their favour until today.

Enter the green shift plan, the Liberal game book for a greener, cleaner Canada – that comes with a notably high price tag, a price tag so high that to implement in an economic storm would be suicide. The blood was in the water and the Tory sharks were circling. It wasn’t long after the green shift came back into the light that another fact of some Liberal in-fighting between Iggy and Dion had been released – apparently over the green shift and it’s impending implementation regardless of the economy. Dion argued for the green plan no matter the times, while Iggy purposed changes to the plan to help weather the financial issues at hand should they return to office.

The Conservatives, looking to gain back the losses in the polls this week were quick to pounce on the problem and create a further financial standoff. Much like the scene in the Untouchables, apparently in Canadian politics “if you don’t have the bookkeeper, you got nothing.“

In a week where Conservatives have taken a beating in the media on the economic crisis facing the world, a World Economic Foundation report puts Canadian Banks at the top of the class.The Prime Minister’s plan of not making knee-jerk promises, especially economic ones during an election (let alone during a financial meltdown)  have proven well served. A perspective of this sort is hard to appreciate as you look at statements showing negative totals, but it is providing Canadians with sound, sage advice. Why would you try to fix a problem that hasn’t occurred yet? The preventative replacement of a home furnace without any measurable issue is not something homeowners plan for, so why should we have a bailout plan for financial institutions when it isn’t an issue?Now to be fair there is something to be said for being prepared for a situation approaching on the horizon. We haven’t heard too much about that from any other party, Tories included – which would most likely provide a level of security (even a small one) to those who are losing money in the stock market plunge.The wonk supports the Conservative position on providing plans for problems, not plans for speculation because in comparison to the other parties it seems the most logical. The other party perspectives are:

• Liberals – Will announce a financial plan after 30 days of taking office
• NDP – Take away $50 billion from corporate tax cutting and prop up the economy using that money
• Green – Have been very quiet during this issue, anyone heard anything that the wonk can’t find?

The full report on Canadian Banks is available here.

Whether you’re selling stocks or flushing the toilet, you can’t get the economy off your mind.

And neither can the leaders in the Canadian Election race, the economy has dominated more than any other issue this election. Recently it was a sparring session between Harper and Dion after Harper accused the Liberal leader of hoping for a recession. We’re still translating Dion’s response, but we don’t believe he agreed with the statement. The debates proved to provide much lip flapping time to each of the leaders as well, here’s a wonk’s take on the strengths and areas of improvement for each.

The Conservatives – Stephen Harper
Harper should receive a nod from the academy for the longest slide into some bad news. For some time when asked about the economy and possible recession he’s eased from ‘it’s okay’ to ‘we have a sound economy’ to ‘we are not an island’. Perhaps he’s a fan of the sandwich approach, placing the bad in between two good points – but what are the good points? What Harper needs to do to better manage the message on economy:

• Use the real numbers in the situation – don’t round, or speak in percentages – straight talk results in straight answers without the sugar coating. Harper should be in front of the cameras with his mini-Irish sidekick along side reminding voters of actual financial results that they have provided Canadians in the past two years. Tax savings accounts, GST reductions, etc, etc.
• Be clear on the economics of business – Layton talks the talk on billions of corporate tax cuts but where’s the proof of that, speak to that issue and bury on the side of the NDP.
• Better highlight the significant differences (and similarities) between Canada and the US – The fear mongering from the other parties is coming from the Bushisms of the US comparisons, trump their arguments with facts about how we are really like the US and how we are not. Don’t beat around the Bush (pun) with the affects of the economic crisis in the states, we as Canadians will feel it, but how are we prepared to feel it and deal with it in the end.

The Liberals – Stephane Dion
Stephane Dion has obviously been taken to the woodshed by Jean or Paul because during the debates he starred right into the camera and dropped the Canada phrase numerous times as he talked about everything including the economy. On the economy he didn’t promise anything and everything at the same time. The wonks here think the Grits need to pull their socks up on the following economic issues:

• Commit funding to only certain issues – by promising spending on everything that is asked of you, the party loses creditability to those who are undecided. It also makes you appear more detail oriented and well-thought when you pick and choose.
• Talk about the Liberals history of deficit elimination – Why do we have surpluses, the Liberals are the reason for that. Speak to that point more and frame it in the context of a tanking economy and the built in ability to conserve (pun) and manage the money based on a proven track record.
• Hit back on economic ‘green’ issues – You will be hitting the Tories and the Green party with one statement about the Liberals ability to integrate environment and economy. The argument for blending the two works because you worst enemies for each are strong only in one of the two areas.

The NDP – Jack Layton
Jack Layton needs to wake up and react more like a person than a budding comic. He had some very hard points in the debates on the issue but they did not bake as they should have and Harper ended up shrugging them off with ease. Wonk says work these economic points to do better:

• You’re not on Seinfeld – and Thomas Mulclair is not Kramer. When you deliver a good zinger don’t stare at the target and wait for the applause machine to kick in. So many of the points in the debate were great but delivered with such a smug tone and a crooked smile they fall flat. Keep the one liners and zingers (read: sweaters), but lose the attitude (sorry – that was more on personal development rather than economic development)
• Taxes are the governments only source of income – if you cut too many taxes then you run out of money. Nuff said?
• Business make money – Most business is in business to produce a gross profit, which is not evil. Oh, and the above point has an application with this one – when you shift taxes from personal to business too much business cannot afford to keep people employed. I know this is really hard to understand, but it’s a must before you assume the opposition position. Maybe we could get some Muppets in and explain Sesame Street style.

The Greens - Elizabeth May
All Liz May jokes are off the table. She ran a good race in the debates and proved that she is more than just a one-trick pony. Wonk’s advice for Ms. May:

• Pick apart Conservative economic decisions made lately – by showing that the Green Party can dive in and analyze a policy, producing their own results is a true measure of the party (really – what you did during the debates, just expand)
• Argue reality to the NDP – make the Greens the left-realist vote choice in the election. Jack is straying too far from the real situation and the opportunity is yours to take over that position.
• Point out the Liberals history on the economy – and frame it in the context of green initiatives, speaking to Liberal voters who are swaying your way on the environment. The Grits had years to fortify the environment / economy in Canada and here we are looking over the edge at an abyss.

Next topic in the series, sweaters. That one was for you Jack.

Number four in the list of five issues that are likely to dominate the Canadian election is leadership. The leadership of the parties strangely plays a large role in how we as Canadians vote – even though we are not able to all vote for a Prime Minister directly and rather the party.

We and the political parties place an undue amount of attention of the current leader of the party and their personal viewpoints than we do issues and promises made both by the party and the individual for that matter. So in keeping with the seemingly Canadian style of political attention misdirection, the wonk looks at the four leaders (four was all for you Liz).

Stephen ‘Ironman’ Harper
Although he has a six-inch thick exterior and most likely still falls asleep with a copy of the policy of the day in his hands, Steve has shown us middle class folks that he too sips his Tim’s from the same side of the cup. He has made an effort to arrange for funeral plans for the Liberal’s imposed image of a cold and hard person, by performing random acts of humanism, like playing the piano and describing that he is a lot like a fruit to a gaggle of salivating reports. His leadership will be defined by his ability to:

• Control party message – The Conservative caucus is a lot like those folks in the Hills Have Eyes movies, there can be much lurking at times and when everyone seems to thin it’s all good – BAM – they jump out and promptly shove their foot the mouth.
• Relate and relay important grass-roots issues to the voting public – For the most part he does this well, the GST reductions have resonated as have his 5 priorities strategy previously.
• Convince Canadians that his party (and himself) are capable of being responsible with a majority – You listening Quebec?

The Ironman tag was thrown in there because us at the wonk believe that underneath his thick exterior lies the personality and humour of someone like Tony Stark. PMSH would be our first choice to knock back some beers as we target shoot old pictures of Trudeau.

Stephane ‘ESL’ Dion
Stephane Dion is a nice guy. He’s the kind of nice you feel when walking through an animal shelter and the dog that keeps staring at you blankly is also the one that due to be put down shortly. We know how the Conservatives feel about Dion, but we also think the Canadian public really feels for him. This is truly a wonk-style election with Harper and Dion being pited head on against each other, and we think that Dion has a couple extra wonk points that Harper doesn’t have. But, that said – is Dion best left to the backrooms? Maybe, maybe not- here’s what we think will define his ability to lead the natural party of Canada:

• Taking Tom Petty’s advice – Dion cannot afford to back down again. He has shown Canadians all year that he is prepared to stand up for them only when the Liberal party is ready for an election. He has had his party abstain from House votes and changed directions more times than Myron Thompson changes livers. He needs to find the confidence issue that sides him with the Liberals and lay down in front of the Conservative steam train in order to show that he can make confident decisions.
• Carbon Tax (shhhh!) – The green shift is a great idea, but it’s not a lead platform. The idea that he spent a week a couple months back selling carbon tax to the general (driving) public is sitr crazy. Selling encyclopedias door to door in silicon valley would have been a more reasonable task. He has quieted up on the carbon tax since the writ dropped, but the public (read: transportation companies) remember well – especially in BC.
• Controlling the monster IggyRae – Michael Ignatieff and Bob Rae wander around Dion like distance nephews at a rich aunt’s will reading. They both know what they want, Dion knows what they want, even the Canadian public knows what they want. They want to be the next PM as head of the Liberal party. Iggy and Rae are both smart enough politicians to know that if they stay on party lines and smile on the left and right of the temp filling the leader’s job, they will only have to worry about each other (sorry Martha).

Jack ‘Frat House’ Layton
Smoking pot? Nude candidates? Dropping acid and filming it? Looks like the Green party reached out to it’s membership and encouraged some free samples to select NDP members. This was the election of opportunity for the NDP – a weakened Liberal-party, scary economy on the horizon and plugs pulled on previous social programs that could start up again with the signing of a cheque. Jack, what happened? Instead for every Conservative apology we heard over the last week, we heard the second story as “NDP candidate drops out due to crazy-ass behaviour”. Here’s what handsome Jack’s defining issues are;

• Keep it together, KIT, KIT, KIT – The party is actually looking like a party lately. Jack needs to tighten the ropes and reel in the members and candidates – and maybe, just a suggestion piss testing.
• Go social – Quit talking about economic issues, the NDP is a social party (that sounds funny) and should be talking about social issues and how they envision solutions to those issues. Stay on daycare, stay on Aboriginals, stay on the social track.
• Resend your message – You are not the next prime minister. But you are a viable alternative the Liberal party. Use short, calm and pointed messages to delivery what you are saying. Seeming more reasonable takes away all moonbat arguments.

Elizabeth ‘Just Happy To Be Here’ May
Why wouldn’t she be happy? Already with one MP recorded in the House and well on her way to having 8-10 times that she has reason to always be smiling. Although the Greens seem to be a one issue party they are working on getting the message across that they have other, non-composting related ideas for the country. Liz (if I may call you that) has taken a lesson from Dion and stopped soapboxing carbon taxes even if that is in the party’s platform. Here’s Liz’s leadership issues:

• Choice – Not pro-choice, choice. She needs to have a Green candidiate in every riding possible to maximize her opportunity in this unique election. We can think of at least 5 ridings that will swing to her if she represents.
• Define other issues – From the party’s perspective, start detailing what the Green party will provide (other than environmental) for the nation. Even shadow speaking at this point would be beneficial – comment on the other leader announcements and show Canadians the difference of the party.
• Focus on the east coast – The left coast will be easy, the right, not so much. Ms. May needs to have to sets of speaking points that are clear and defined – and she needs to be able to rattle them off llike a robot at the drop of a GPS, depending on where she is in the country.

You thinking we forgot someone? No, we didn’t forget – by Quebec may have. Watch the Canadian Federal Election on October 14 and you’ll see.

The third issue that we will go into depth on will be the economy (queue disater music, crowds screaming and random people pointing to the sky).

Because there isn’t a political party that seems to dominate the Canadian tundra, we decided to look at five likely issues that you will hear again and again and again and again. We’re going at this in a multi-part  series with the Environment first up, cut by party accomplishments and strategies.Who will champion these issues and satisfy your voting appetite? Stay tuned undecided voters.

The Environment

Stephen Harper’s team will echo that they have done more for the environment in the last two years than the Liberals of the recent past with Dion at the helm of the Environment portfolio. Abandoning Kyoto and looking away from carbon taxes were two accomplishments made by the Conservatives lately – however they do have some brighter issues than they have taken the lead on such as setting hard deadlines for compliance with environmental standards for industry and taking a unnecessarily large amount of SUVs to the front door of Parliament. Way to go!

Dion has the green shift. What the hell is that? Sounds like the Kansas City Shuffle – at any rate a policy with the word ’shift’ in it doesn’t end well for taxpayers. Shift implies that the taxes will not be lessen to ease an increased burden of fuel costs on consumers, but rather moved around to avoid someone thinking that they aren’t giving back. Dion also brings to the table the fact that his dog is named ‘Kyoto’, bravo.

Layton has decided to paint his face and the faces of the other party MPs green for the entire time of the election campaign. His second part to that strategy is to respond to all questions in the environmental Hulk mode – “Layton Smash Carbon!”. That might work if his moustache goes angry.

Elizabeth May, what else is there to say? The greenest of the greens, the Kermit of the hill, her party is based on this one sole issue. The other issues may pose a larger problem when she is asked to expand on her solution to the Afghanistan war with the use of solar panels.

The communist party of Canada has stated that they would finally implement the technology that has been in development for years from underground research stations in Russia that allows the government and only the government to control the weather and impose greener conditions on the residents of land.

The marijuana party of Canada issued a short statement that comprised of only vowels and Led Zeppelin symbols. Further translation is required.

The next installment of the election issues to watch will be Leadership.

That sound that woke you up a little extra early on Sunday morning was the writ being dropped, closing the 39th parliament and beginning the race for the 40th.

Prime Minister Stephen Harper visited Governor General  Jean early on Sunday morning interrupting her cultural television and Captain Crunch. Although many say she holds a position of authority and stature, she is nothing but an appointed chair warmer used in the same fashion as any other inanimate object needed for a traditional task. She holds the right to push back on requests like the PMs today (see the King-Byng affair) but even with a fixed election date waiting in the wings, she sees no opposition to doing so.

So the election is on, and a mark our words – this one is going to be the most personal and attack driven campaigns in Canadian history. Stay tuned true voters.

If you didn’t know any better you would think the Tories had a lunch serving Maple Leaf cold cuts recently because their MPs are dropping out of the picture, fast.

Joe Comuzzi, former Liberal from Thunder Bay riding is the latest case of the disease sweeping the party, more commonly known as “cantgetreelecteditous”. Our last post identified the top three Tory MPs who should drop out, and Comuzzi wasn’t named, which makes us wonder, how many more before the bleeding stops? And what do the MPs know that the general public doesn’t?

If their actions are any indication of what’s down the sewer pipe we’re going to new a new minister position created, the minister responsible for telling us what the hell Dion just said.

Three pins fell early during the rumours of the writ being dropping for the kick off of the next election.

Harper will have to address some gaps in his current cabinet line up and get the candidates out of the plane and parachuted in just in time to begin campaigning. The three Tory MPs leaving the political life are David “These Boots Were Made for Floor Crossing” Emerson, Monte “Numbers” Solberg and Loyota “Smells Like Fish” Hearn (seen hiding from another vote; below). While Emerson is likely the most controversial of the three MPs,  the others do represent management status in the caucus.

Solberg is the one we would like to see leave the least. Monte’s ability to manipulate figures and make sense of budgets goes back a ways and he would have done extremely well as the finance minister. Hearn was rarely seen on the hill or in his own riding and has an easy portfolio to fill, and well Emerson just won’t be missed – he saw the writing on the wall. His riding would have lynched him before re-electing him and he knew it.

In keeping with the speculative nature of political commentary, here’s the three Tory MPs that should not seek re-election (in our humble opinion):

• Pierre Poilievre – Always one bad sound byte away from being disciplined or thrown out of caucus, Pierre has a flare to be a sarcastic, talk out of his ass, mouth-piece for whatever he thinks will get him one step higher up the ladder.
• John Baird – Readied with his purple ‘Hulk Shorts’ under his trousers at all times, this MP is a race car in the red, a mushroom cloud laying mother-f…you get the picture. His temper is his worst enemy and with that he can be provoked to do or say things that are likely to dig him a deep hole.
• Inky Mark – There’s back-benchers, then there’s Inky. He usually sits somewhere around the gift shop when the house is in session. Inky looks out for one person, and that’s Inky.

Like most Wonks the hibernation period takes place as the MPs fly back to their ridings for community BBQs and such events.

The wonks amongst us however take the summer months to sleep off exhausting, late nights of wonking during the prime house season. That slumber can of course be disturbed by the sound of a writ dropping.Our ears perked up as you can imagine this weekend with the talk of elections being called this week and we wiped the sleep from our eyes and found a cup of three-month old coffee and the keyboard to begin another season of commentary.

The commentary we will be offering will change a bit this season – less prancing around a subject and more baseball bat action right smack on the skull of the matter. Stay tuned.