Three Tory MPs That Should Not Seek Re-Election
Three pins fell early during the rumours of the writ being dropping for the kick off of the next election.
Harper will have to address some gaps in his current cabinet line up and get the candidates out of the plane and parachuted in just in time to begin campaigning. The three Tory MPs leaving the political life are David “These Boots Were Made for Floor Crossing” Emerson, Monte “Numbers” Solberg and Loyota “Smells Like Fish” Hearn (seen hiding from another vote; below). While Emerson is likely the most controversial of the three MPs, the others do represent management status in the caucus. 
Solberg is the one we would like to see leave the least. Monte’s ability to manipulate figures and make sense of budgets goes back a ways and he would have done extremely well as the finance minister. Hearn was rarely seen on the hill or in his own riding and has an easy portfolio to fill, and well Emerson just won’t be missed – he saw the writing on the wall. His riding would have lynched him before re-electing him and he knew it.
In keeping with the speculative nature of political commentary, here’s the three Tory MPs that should not seek re-election (in our humble opinion):
- Pierre Poilievre – Always one bad sound byte away from being disciplined or thrown out of caucus, Pierre has a flare to be a sarcastic, talk out of his ass, mouth-piece for whatever he thinks will get him one step higher up the ladder.
- John Baird – Readied with his purple ‘Hulk Shorts’ under his trousers at all times, this MP is a race car in the red, a mushroom cloud laying mother-f…you get the picture. His temper is his worst enemy and with that he can be provoked to do or say things that are likely to dig him a deep hole.
- Inky Mark – There’s back-benchers, then there’s Inky. He usually sits somewhere around the gift shop when the house is in session. Inky looks out for one person, and that’s Inky.